Thursday, 24 December 2015

May we...

May we meet
On someday
At somewhere
And then talk.
May we laugh
May we cry
And then share
What we feel
What we think
Of the world
And the stars
And the skies
Rivers, seas
And the fields
Green with grass
And the time
Which maybe
Is slower
In the space.
And angels
And the gods
Who, you know
May exist.
Or may not.
May we then
Meet again.
And again.
And again.
Until we.
Have spoken.
All we knew.
All we had
In our hearts
And our minds.
May we then
Part our ways
Move ahead
In our lives
And may we
All the while
Never know
What your name
Or my name
Even was
Coz we were
Just two souls
Meant to meet
So we did
Meant to part
So we did.
And now we
Shall move on
To other
Souls in life.

~Almas Kiran Shamim 

image source:

Random rantings..

Many bigger tragedies can happen in life. Not only “CAN”, they will. Anyway, I just need to sort out my head a bit. Now, there are people who always want to “sound” right. They may be talking absolute crap, but they speak with such authority, or I should say, they are already in positions of such authority, that whatever they utter is accepted. I truly do not believe in ‘not speaking up’. I do not accept that we should just shut the fuck up when someone is talking crap. But, this is getting very difficult for me. Coz’ it means that I’d literally be opposing people everyday, many times a day… it’ll get exhausting for me. I may as well ignore ensure that I do not lose my sanity… But, trust me ignoring crap is difficult for me.
In any case, I think I just should not talk about my own life… to them or in front of them. They do not have any place in my life personal life, at least….

I like meeting people. Not contacts. I have been hearing about this category called “contacts” ever since I joined public health. I hated it then. I hate it now. Contacts is such a dehumanizing way to look at people. Contacts make me feel like shit. As if the only worth of a person is what he she can do for you. It is ridiculous. Totally. People happen to us to enrich our lives. To bring in experiences. To teach us new things, new words, new perspectives… Of course, it is for people who are open to learning… and not people of the “above” sorts… who think they know it all. Otherwise, for normal people like me and maybe you, people are life. These people whom you meet along life’s way may help you, may not help you, you may help them, you may not help them. But, it is about ‘helping’. It is not about “contacts”.

In the past one week, I’ve been asked twice about my “Hindi”. S asked me ‘When did I learn Hindi’ and M, who, by the way, has known me for quite some time now, asked me, in relation to a job in U.P., ‘How is your Hindi?’…. I was like… dude… pleaseeee…. And then he asked me… “Oh… weren’t you from…uhhh. Nagaland?”
Khair…. I remember when Dr. J.J was taking our class, he asked us if there was any Hindi speaking person in the class… I raised my hand…. He asked me where was I from… and I told… Andamans… He said… “Ahhh no… not someone who ‘knows’ Hindi….but someone who is actually Hindi speaking”… before I could even process what he meant, he had selected his Hindi speaking person- K. Who. By the way. Is from Orissa. I so totally hated him that day…. Not, K… JJ :P
My hands are so cold… Even my heater is tired of attempting to heat my room.

Do you know? Almas is Persian for Diamond. That’s what I was named after.
It is also Spanish for Souls.

N told me today… that we work for a good life…. Work in itself is not a good life. I think that is where I am making my mistake… I am seeking a life out of my work… then another life out of life.

Cats are cotton balls. I love them. I want a bigger house. Cats should never feel suffocated.

Monday, 14 December 2015

Of mountains and seas ...

Sometimes I wonder if it really has to be this way. That we have to travel miles to sit on a cliff, looking down at a sea and muse over life? Why can't we do it back at home? Dyu know how beautiful my home town is? We have a vast ocean... little hills covered in green.... a clean and clear sky- the perfect home for those millions of glittering stars. Ofcourse it was more beautiful back when I was a little girl. When the sports complex was still called 'jetty' and joggers' park was just 'pahaad'. When the winds blew stronger than today and when literally every particle carried happiness. Happiness has turned into such an elusive emotion. We travel but we don't stay. We are so constantly on the move that even the most beautiful of places become just a tick on our bucketlist. Not that I have one. But, still... we are constantly going somehwere. When would I have time to just be?

In the past one month I have seen so many mountains. Old ones like the Table Mount and new ones like the Himalayas.. One word which constantly kept popping into my mind while I looked at the majestic mountains and the expansive ocean is "Alankar". No other word seems to fit as beautifully as "Alankar". Now, I know, God making this world would require a stretch of imagination for many today. But, that's what I grew up believing and I think it is a nice and simple and beautiful and peaceful belief- God made the world. So when God made the world, it put these mountains on the world as alankar.... Imagine a world without them.... how plain... how restrictive....  I think it has to be this way coz each hill has its own feeling. The camera in our mind captures these visions, not independent of emotions. Whether it be the snow covered Marhi... or the rocky Table mount or even that extremely beautiful hill where we stood looking over the Atlantic.... each time the majesty was a different one... even though the same....I am not yet able to give words to what I feel.... but I hope with time, my perception or vocabulary, whichever of the two is deficient... or even both, if the need be, develops. 
At the Cape Point... totally love this picture.
Travel, I believe, helps in making us realize how small we are- how insignificant even.... how we are the tiniest part of this big wholeness... if there is a wholeness at all. Travel helps you in feeling non-existent... in experiencing the out of body moments which are the most beautiful moments in life. Mountains and Seas.... They should always be together... I do not know if I love it and so should be lucky that I was born in a hilly island... or if I love it only coz I was born in a hilly island... But mountains and seas give me peace. They make me feel small. They tell me "It's Okay!".  

Everything that I want, exists here
Save you
Everything that you may want, exists there
Save me
Tell me how far is it from here to there.
Tell me if I could have wings.


Now reading ... "Crime and Punishment" by 'Fyodor Dostoyevsky'.



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